Half Full, Half Empty- Who Cares?

Life is a weird thing, when you think about it. IF you think about it. If you don't, sometimes that's for the better. If you can convince yourself that oblivion equals happiness and forego truth, ignoring reality's harshness might have its own reward. However, if you're a thinker, an analyzer, an artist or a writer, or just have an i.q. over 90, you've probably pondered some pretty fucked up things in life.

Yesterday I was speaking with a friend who was born with an illness that has, and will continue to, challenge him both physically and mentally for the rest of his life. Understandably, on one particularly difficult day, he expressed his exasperation with living with the disease and its effects. What's amazing about my friend (besides what he's already overcome) is that in the middle of his frustration, he said, "I know people have it worse than I do...". My friend still appreciates life, and values it, despite the fact that he has dealt with more shit then so many people in this world who are stuck somewhere between ignorance, privilege, and entitlement. There is no doubt, there are ugly things in the world. Serial killers, child molesters, the African AIDS epidemic- the list is long. But just like there is bad, there is a lot of good. There's ENOUGH good- at least for most of us to appreciate what we have.

For my sorority’s senior bar tour we had tee shirts made that read, "Some ask if the glass is half full, some ask if the glass is half empty, Phi's just ask for another". It's actually a very complex statement. Shut up, it is. Its pointless to argue whether good outweighs bad or vice versa. There IS good, so what's the purpose in dwelling on the bad? Too many people focus on the world's and their own negatives, rather than the positives. And frankly, I think that sucks.

Response to Shara: The Young Professional's: Men are Pigs, and I Love Bacon

My friend Shara recently wrote a hilarious blog, "Men Are Pigs, and I Love Bacon". In this masterpiece, Shara: The Young Professional, questions why since she and all her friends are so beautiful, witty, intelligent, funny, can drink you under the table, etc., they cannot find good men (no- they do not live in LA).

First, very simply, because more women are better than more men- many women end up lowering their good-man-standards. Good women outnumber good men. There are many "crazies, liars, and losers" and only a few good men (couldn't help it, sorry). But it’s deeper than that.

Among these remaining good men, some of them prefer to date women they feel are inferior to them. Several months ago, I was having dinner with my friend Nina when a couple of guys sitting at the table next to us overheard our discussion and interrupted. "Are you two hotties (something really corny like that) really getting PhDs??" Nina giggled (for affect- brilliant) and said, "No silly, we work in retail". Her statement was met with instant excitement. And to think that the teacher in Mean Girls advises LiLo not to "dumb herself down" to get a man. Don't question Lindsay. Ever! Those weren't even her pants.

Anyway Shara, to answer your question, the problem with you and your friends sounds like the same problem with me and my friends. The problem is that it's not us, but rather a vile little epidemic called male insecurity. Too many men are intimidated by intelligent women with rockin' bodies. Because even some of the "good" ones (good- lets discuss this at a later date shall we?...) are so insecure, they prefer to date women that they feel are below them.

Just like Shara "knows" she and her friends are good catches, I KNOW just how ugly and rotten male insecurity really is. The sad and pathetic truth is that the ego of an insecure man cannot sustain a good woman.

All those adjectives Shara uses...beautiful, nice, hilarious, will create sexual tension with a coffee table and then dance on it after drinking you under the table (my favorite line)... are in fact- in today's male dominated society- debilitating. My advice? If you really want a boyfriend, put on whatever weight you can, take your diplomas off the wall, and get a job that will allow you to wear low cut shirts all the time. However, if you genuinely don't give a shit like Shara and me, and enjoy your freedom and independence, then welcome to the fascinating world of women who refuse to be held down by losers… and therefore, we’ll dance on any table we see fit thank you.

What's Wrong with LA?

Hiking through Runyon Canyon the other day, I was befriended by a guy with a pure bread/UNneutered dog (telling). Eventually, and not surprisingly given my infatuation with the show, we began to discuss Entourage. Since I am a firm believer that much can be deduced about a person based on who his favorite Entourage character is, we exchanged answers. His: Ari. Mine: E.

Would you believe this guy looked at me with a straight face and said, "Eric! Are you serious? HE'S what's wrong with THIS town". This statement troubles me on many levels.

First of all, while enjoying Ari as a television character is perfectly acceptable, as a person he sucks and furthermore, HE embodies WHAT'S WRONG WITH LA. There are many examples which I could use to illustrate this point, but I think we can all agree if he were real (or if Ari Emanuel is anything at all like he’s depicted) he's just plain mean. Funny yes, but mean- very. Secondly, he is the epitome of the LA hot shot slickster (as I like to call them). If you live in LA, or have ever dated a guy from LA, you know what I'm talking about. (Remind me to show this article to my neighbor who warned me about men in LA before I moved here- I totally wrote him off and then made fun of his comments behind his back). The LA hot shot slickster drives an expensive foreign car, screams into his cell phone in public venues, and thinks he's cooler than I think I am (and trust me, THAT is saying something just ask my friend Jess).

On the other hand, there's E. E is your stereotypical LA import. Somehow despite making some money, he maintains his east-coast attitude, he's thankful for his success, he attempts to get along well with others, and he respects women. I mean, my god, he can't have unemotional sex! Believe me when I tell you, E is NOT the problem with the industry.

In fact, "the problem" that people are referring to with respect to LA, is that people like this guy from Runyon see guys like E as the problem, while worshipping people like Ari. While Ari is in fact a very engaging character, the fact remains he is just a character, and attempting to emulate him in real life will not yield good karma. If more industry people were like E, I would hang out more in Hollywood and less in Venice. Furthermore, I wouldn't crack up every time I see some hot east coast guy on the Westside wearing a backwards hat and a t-shirt that reads "industry people suck".

Actually, it is LEGAL to be Annoying

There is no doubt that Nancy Grace is one of, if not the most annoying person on television. But friend, that's perfectly within her constitutional rights, and y'all can't sue her for it. That's really the bottom line here. The family of Melinda Duckett (who killed herself following an interview in which Grace insinuated Duckett was involved in her son’s disappearance) is suing the CNN reporter for wrongful death.

While I hesitate to call Grace a journalist, the fact remains that she does report (for a lack of a better word) the news and conduct interviews as she sees fit (if you want to throw up in your mouth, search youtube for her particularly nauseating interview with Elizabeth Smart- the only redeeming value to the clip is when Smart finally puts Grace in her place). While Grace might in fact bring shame to the field of journalism because she sucks, the questions she posed to Duckett were perfectly legitimate. In fact, I can’t even fathom a question that would justify wrongful death. While it does appear from the interview that Grace feels Duckett was involved with the child’s disappearance- so the f what? It’s called subjective reporting people, deal with it. Not everyone can be as objective as Bill O’Reilly and I are.

Reprimanding Grace in ANY way for interrogating Duckett would clearly (as Grace’s lawyers rightfully assert) threaten and “severely chill” the media coverage given to missing people. In addition, if Grace were sanctioned , the way journalists interview across the board would be severely hampered. Not to mention, that it’s just ridiculous to claim that one can prove that Grace’s actions caused Duckett to kill herself. Clearly, it’s within the realm of possibility that Duckett was experiencing psychiatric problems which were associated with the decision kill herself. Or perhaps Duckett was involved with the disappearance of her son and that contributed to her decision to shoot herself. Despite the disgusting taste supporting Nancy Grace might leave in your mouth, it’s the right thing to do.

Jessica Lunsford's Killer to Death Row

My friend Jesse (not to be confused with Jess) has a bumper sticker on her car which reads "Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing is wrong". While I'm not entirely committed to death penalty (mainly because appeals cost millions of dollars), I feel like there's a pretty simple answer to that question. We DON'T kill people to SHOW that killing is wrong, we kill people to rid the world of evil- at least with respect to the death penalty.

John Evander Couey kidnapped, raped, and murdered nine-year old Jessica Lunsford by burying the child alive. Couey is one sick individual. As far as I can see (and if you don't agree you're as crazy as he is), the only options are life in prison or the death penalty- because as we all know, if you let these lunatics out of jail, they will continue to hurt little girls.

So, while I'm still unsure where I stand with respect to the death penalty, I'm certainly not losing any sleep over the fact that Couey will be dead in a couple years. What I really want to point out though, is the question, "Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing is wrong" is a tricky and manipuliative phrase which doops the observer (should you be so gullable) into assuming that we are killing to make a point- when in fact, we kill people like Couey to make the world a safer place.

Really? Nicole's Pregnant?

I feel like I'm the only one that's shocked by this news. Honestly, just when I thought that nothing could ever shock me, Nicole Richie gets pregnant. But here's what I want to know. HOW??

It brings me back to college when a friend once bragged to me that she was so skinny, she had stopped menstruating. Yes, I said BRAGGED and that's a true story. But doesn't that raise a good point? How in god's name, did that skeleton get pregnant? She must be fertile Myrtle. Plus, with who-knows-what she puts into that sack of bones she calls her body, it's a god damned miracle she was able to conceive. As far as I'm concerned, Nicole Richie's carrying the Messiah if it survives.

I Would Totally Let My Kids Listen to JoJo

As I sat in bumper to bumper today on the 10, crawling toward Santa Monica during rush hour, I listened to the radio because truthfully I was too lazy to change my CDs. If you want to take it one step further, I'm actually too lazy to get the thingy which connects an ipod to a car (eh hem, Jess) but whatever, I'm busy so cut me a break please, thank you. Anyway, JoJo (you know who she is so stop pretending like you don't), was on the radio. "It's just too little too late" blah blah blah. It's catchy, so I let it play. I thought I was hallucinating when I heard her mention something about moving on and loving herself, because really, super pop isn't that deep.

I got home and looked up the lyrics. Imagine my surprise. Jojo (I think she's about 14), knows more about life, love and relationships than most women my own age. No really. Read:

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
Go find someone else
In letting you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help

I'm shocked. Mostly by the part that reads, "in letting you go, I'm lovin myself". Perhaps it would be slightly deeper with a "g" attached to lovin' but let's not split hairs. The point people is that every psychologist in the world (including my mommy and she is soooo smart) will tell you with respect to ANY AND ALL relationships, they can only be happy and healthy ones if you love yourself. Most people I know LARGELY overlook loving the self. I readily admit, I used to be one of them.

My mom has always stated, that it’s impossible to love someone that treats you poorly and love yourself simultaneously. Basically, the two are mutually exclusive. If you love yourself, you wouldn't love someone that treats you poorly. If you love someone that treats you poorly, you clearly don't love yourself. Rock on Jojo. Rock on.

What Entourage Can Teach Us About Friendship

Of course Ari sold some studio on the dream team... you know, Vinnie, E, and Walsh- without first discussing the idea with Eric. Not surprisingly, E didn't want to produce if Walsh was directing. Let's recall that Walsh had just emphasized his disdain for E by telling him if he ever meets his mother he's "gonna f*ck her" along with wearing a shirt that read, "suits suck". Clearly, E and Walsh are not fit to work together.

That being said, because E is both Vince's manager and best friend, both friends would have faced a predicament- that is, if they were to act like bickering school girls. What’s remarkable about Vinnie and E's friendship is the respectful and effective way that they communicate. Within minutes, both characters resolve that Vince should do the movie with Walsh because it’s perfect for Vinnie and good for his career. E understandably volunteers to return to managing and the thought of fostering resentment toward his best friend for agreeing to work with Walsh never crosses his mind.

Why aren't all relationships this NORMAL?? It seems obvious, right? Vinnie should do the movie with Walsh because he wants to, but should understand why E doesn't want to be a part of it. E on the other hand, should respect that fact that Vinnie wants to move forward with Walsh as director, and return to managing non-begrudgingly.

The point?? That's the way real friends should act. Real friends should respect you. Real friends should support you. Real friends should never undermine you. Real friends should understand if you want to get as close as possible to Billy Walsh because he's so fucking crazy sexy cool. Wait, I'm sorry, I got distracted. What were we talking about???

Read it. Love it.

Thank god for industry friends. If not for my friends in high places, eh hem- Jess and Z, then I would still be making fun of bloggers rather than just blogging (ewww that's actually worse than the noun). At any rate, this is the road so many freelance writers have taken before me, and I'm a follower, not a leader. So here I go. READ IT. LYB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!