Monday, September 24, 2007

Ahmadinejad at Columbia


Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University yesterday afternoon. Many were appalled, offended, and angry. But don't be so quick to judge. Because as it turns out, Columbia has tact (when they aren't torturing animals...check PETA.com for further details).

Many schools would have welcomed the opportunity simply for political reasons. What's more, is that it's easy for academic institutions to do so and hide comfortably under the blanket of freedom of speech, so the political enhancement combined with the media attention would certainly be worth it. Not the case with Columbia.

While Columbia permitted Ahmadinejad (a former professor of engineering) to speak, he was publicly challenged and criticized by the University's President, Lee Bollinger (a former professor of medicine and biochemistry) from the moment Bollinger introduced him. As president of the University, Bollinger undoubtedly represents Columbia when he speaks. Bollinger made his hostile feelings for Ahmadinejad and his reign of terror known- a position the University should take if in fact they allow Ahmadinejad to speak.

While an academic institution should nurture an environment where all voices can be heard (much of Bollinger’s own academic career focused on first amendment issues), it should NOT suppress its own viewpoints and standards. Particularly in circumstances such as this one in which the speaker in question is a holocaust denier, a terrorist, and a cold-blooded killer. The only tactful way to provide Ahmadinejad with a platform is to have someone like Bollinger at the podium exposing him as the insane and cruel dictator he is.

Unfurtuous?


Unfortunately (and this wasn’t always the case), synagogue has begun to look like the ones on the sets of Entourage and Curb. This is even the case, this is ESPCIALLY the case, on the highest of holidays, Yom Kippur. Year after year I take note, year after year it gets worse- and for whatever reason- the rabbi won’t enforce a dress code. Well I will.

I request, with all due respect (of course) please:
• No fur
• No sleeveless tops
• No open toed shoes
• No cleavage
• No backless
• No overtly gaudy clothing worn specifically to draw attention to yourself

While this list my seem silly, it’s based on ridiculous ensembles which I have observed in temple. There are actually a few specific women, repeat offenders, that I look for now to see how offensive and disgusting their tasteless designer outfits are.

Listen people, if you think I’m being too judgmental consider the following. Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement, a day of sacrifice through fasting. A day Jews should use to look inward and attempt to right a year’s worth of wrongs. Isn’t it only appropriate that one should dress modestly for such an occasion? Isn’t it overtly despicable that one would think fur is acceptable? An animal is murdered in cold blood and skinned sometimes alive (yes- I belong to PETA) only to provide a fancy trim for one’s sweater? Truthfully, these women make me sick and when I see them, I want to throw up in my mouth. Furthermore, I am not at the point in my life where I have developed the ability to transcend that which irritates me- and consequently these designer worshippers distract me from my own atonement.

All I ask is that these women refrain from dressing like whores in a place that is suppose to be a house of worship. This still leaves many fashion options. It’s surprisingly possible to dress classy and still look good. And hey, if all else fails you can always carry one of those oversized, hardware clad, Gucci logo bags and remind everyone that your husband is a plastic surgeon even though his best work is covered up for the afternoon.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

L.A.M.B: Lame And Miserable Ballad


If someone had told me that Gwen Stefani and Damian Marley, two of my all time favorites, had come out with a new song, I would have downloaded it from iTunes immediately without sampling it. Believe, when I turned on MTV hits and saw Gwen and Damian getting busy I was thrilled. Unfortunately, as bad as the video is (the long plaid shorts on the usually well-dressed Gwen are too disgusting for words)- the song “Now That You Got It” isn't much better.

I hesitated from the beginning to admit this statement. Part of me thought that the song might grow on me (I had a hard time with Garbage's third album and eventually grew to really cherish it). However, after a waiting period the results are in, and it’s not good.

The song is really bad. It's corny and cheesy, silly and dumb. It doesn't even really make any sense. The lyrics are so stupid I don't want to get into them (Gwenie Gwen Gwen has always had good lyrics- simple, but clever). Ugg. Just an overall disappointment.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Next Big Thing In Psychiatric Treatment


Among the many endearing symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (hereinafter BDP) is self-mutilation. Working with many people who suffer from BDP at a local psychiatric facility, I have witnessed this behavior firsthand. I'll be honest, it's actually a little scary. Cutting is more common than one would think, and celebrities like Amy Winehouse and Angelina Jolie admit to this destructive behavior. Most cutters claim that they engage in the behavior because they are void of emotion, and feeling anything, even pain, is better than feeling numb.

But here's what I want to know, why not just get a Brazilian bikini wax? It hurts like hell and I'm willing to bet it hurts more than the superficial cuts most cutters make. Plus, there is the added bonus that your boyfriend will be thrilled. Is it me, or is this not a brilliant idea? I think I've stumbled on a solution that has been taunting mental health workers for years.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Gimme More? More Crack Maybe...


I would like to preface what I'm about to say, with this disclaimer- I love Britney Spears. I love her country bumpkin- pot smoking- I don't give a what attitude. She’s no snob- and in Hollywood- that’s respectable. That being said, what happened last night at the MTV Video Music Awards?

I’m baffled (probably shouldn’t be, but I am). I'd say she should fire all of her current staff- but I think she's done that a couple of times. However, if her choreographer hasn't been canned yet- it's CLEARLY time. The first thing I did as soon as she left the stage (besides remind myself to make an appointment ASAP for colored contacts) was call my best friend Becky to ask her what the hell just happened.

Britney looked like a train wreck. I'm not calling her fat by ANY stretch- but that body was a far cry from a few years earlier when she slithered around the stage with a python- which still encourages my own situp routine to this very day (don’t throw any post-baby rhetoric at me either- Heidi Klum walked the Victoria Secret Runway Show only 6 weeks after giving birth to her second child). Incidentally- I caught a glimpse of Brit’s 2002 performance on MTV Hits just minutes before the new award show- and it unfortunately illustrated how far downhill poor Brit Brit has traveled.

First of all, her dance moves were like my moms at the END of a bar mitzvah after she's had a couple glasses of wine and slowed down (my moms 54). Second of all, she was stoned. And if she wasn't stoned at that exact moment- she’s clearly smoked herself to the point of paranoia- because she looked freaked out. The lip-synching was off- ugg- it was a mess. Trust me, when 50 Cent and Nelly look concerned- it’s time to ask Jamie Foxx for some of his coke (poor poor poor Jennifer Garner).

Wake up Brit. I love you girl, but you gotta get yourself together. I wasn’t really concerned when you drove around with the kid on your lap- I mean you’re right- you ARE country like that. I wasn’t even concerned when you dropped one of them- nor when you threw out all of your underwear. How about this: I wasn’t even concerned when you married K Fed. I am now, legitimately WORRIED as I have never seen a performer- especially a performer with as much stage presence and talent- waddle through a performance with the look of a deer in headlights.

At this point, Brit's train wreck is like the War in Iraq. What the hell do we do now???? I can’t even fathom an answer that would right all of the wrongs. I mean my god- K Fed's lawyers are probably dying to introduce that toxic performence into evidence in court. I don't know Brit, lets start small I guess- have a cup of coffee- WITH espresso. But hey, like we always said during recruitment rush let's end on a positive. Great song!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

I'm GOING To Say It Anyway!

Why can't I speak the damned truth wthout a rukus (shut up, I'll spell check this at a later date). I mean seriously, even if you give me a hard time, WHICH I KNOW YOU WILL, I'm going to speak my mind anyway even if it is corny, played out, lame, and/or stupid (that's your opinion and you're welcome to elaborate if you see the need- just don't act surprised when I do). In fact, if I'm hassled about my TRUTHTELLING, I will tell more truths. So please, chill about my opinoins and about anything else that might illustrate how absurd I can be. DEAL WITH IT!!!!!